Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
