This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
