He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
