she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
