After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
