WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
