She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
