How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Four minutes until I can fart!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
