she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
