i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
