She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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