how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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