well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i will never coherently bang her
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize