He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The feeling are messing with the penis
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
