I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
