The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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