I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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