No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
