glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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