He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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