8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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