So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
