this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
