Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I would fuck him just for his dog
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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