sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
