Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
