I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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