Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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