why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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