the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize