she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize