when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
