there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Michael Bay diarrhea
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My butt remains clenched, sir.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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