you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
