tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
