I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
