brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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