Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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