Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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