hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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