we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize