I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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