God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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