You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
