How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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