Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I said "one day" and that day is not today
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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