with your own penis?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
