Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
