the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
