Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
