Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
