2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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