Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize