She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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