Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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