Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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