I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My dick has a subreddit
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
