i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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