worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
