Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
