I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
