I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
