dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
