You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
