I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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