we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
