I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
