i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
