You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
