why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
