i just google imaged poop.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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