So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She bit a glass in half.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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