I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
