My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
